Why Leaving an Abusive Relationship can be Difficult and
Challenging
Fear
Fear of more severe abuse or loss of life.
Fear of children being kidnapped
Fear of not being able to make it on their own.
Fear of not knowing where they will go.
Fear he will harm her job or reputation.
Fear he will have her arrested or charged with a crime or report her
for child abuse.
Fear he will kill himself.
Fear of the abusive partner hurting family or friends.
Fear that the abuser will come after them, destroy belongings or the home.
Fear of being considered a "failure"in their
relationship.
Fear that no one will believe her.
2. Love
Hope they will change
The abuser promises they will change
3. No Place to go
No friends or relatives to stay with.
Not sure about going to shelter
4. Pity
They may feel that their partner is ill and only they can take care of
him/her
Guilty if they leave.
5. Economic Dependency
No money for deposits. No income.
No transportation
Possibly not skilled for any occupation
Doubt they can make it on their own
Belief that it is difficult for women with children to find work
Violent partners generally handle all the money.
Lack of social services without a waiting period
6. Low Self-Esteem
Devalued by partner with negative comments and accusations.
Social isolation - no access to positive reinforcement from others.
May believe they are responsible.
May believe this is the best they have the right to expect or that all
marriages are like this.
Social reinforcement. Women feel the responsibility of success or failure
of marriage; male victims are afraid to admit failure.
Poor self-image. Loss of self-respect.
Ashamed to tell anyone.
Feels trapped in the marriage and/or relationship.
May have experienced childhood abuse.
7. Religious / Cultural Beliefs
May feel that separation and divorce are wrong.
Many battered women report that they sought help from their clergy
initially and were told that it "was their lot in life to suffer,"
or "this was God's plan" or "pray for salvation" or the
clergy attempted marital Counseling.
8. Children
They may feel the children need both parents.
Do not want the children to suffer financial hardship.
The children are not abused, therefore they believe they are okay.
