Violence and Children ::: Women's Center

Children across the country are struggling to survive the harmful effects of the violence they encounter in their homes. Their world is tragic, filled with uncertainty, pain and isolation.

Violence in the home causes a great deal of turmoil for the children. They do not develop feelings of security or trust about grown ups or respect for their own self worth. These children are abandoned emotionally and physically neglected and sometimes abused themselves.

Research shows that 60% of the boys who witness domestic violence become batterers themselves and become involved in other violent crimes. Girls who witness domestic violence often become victims of date rape and future victims of partner abuse. Both boys and girls are at high risk of school problems, drop out, drug abuse, and crimes.

Key issues, which surface in counseling with children from violent homes:

Psychological trauma (Post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression). Children often feel that the abuse is somehow their fault or that they could have stopped it.
Self-destructive copng mechanisms.
Assumption of the parental role (acting as parent to the battered person).
Poor school adjustment and educational neglect.
Use of drugs.
Auto-phobia (distrust of self, fears of what they might do if they continue to experience the abuse).
Violence between teen couples.
Physical and sexual abuse (sometimes they are accidental victims).
Confused values.
Distrust of adults and the worlds.

Children need to find out they are not alone, to understand the fears that govern their lives and explore ways to overcome these fears. They need to learn about the cycle of violence and come to understand that they are not responsible. They need to learn non-violent ways to handle their own anger and healthy problem-solving skills. They need to come to understand what a healthy relationship should consist of and explore their own values. They need to develop a personal safety plan, if the batterer is still in the home